Sunday, April 29, 2007
Just like that
You were my everything
You knew how much you meant to me
You never treasured our friendship
You took my love for granted
Like you said
"Never been together, finally over"
I dont ask you to like me back
All I ask, is for you to talk to me
Yet you gave it all up
Just like that...
Posted by Winston at 9:12 PM
Friday, April 20, 2007
To Melvin
Im just going to let everything out. Cant store anymore. Just once- and for all.
Im posting this on this crap page because i dont want a single soul besides you and the closest friends in the world to read. Read my blog! I talked about the secret blog. This is the first post. After that i will change the url and you wont have any idea what the new one is.(anyway why would you care... im dumb, sorry)
Stop reminding me can? Everytime im so close to having a free life you screw it up by talking about her. Why you go tell her what i said?! You know you made matters worse? Im now trying very hard to just mind my own business and then you have to come and remind me. I dont think we have anything to talk about. To tell you the truth, i always dont know what to talk about. I just makes me not so tense. Let me make this clear. I am not going to let anyone have control of my life. INCUDING HER. I have decided that if things are going to carry on like this one of these days i will break down or lose my sanity! You understand?! That is not an option in my list, and not one of my top ten priorites. I want nature to take its course! Let God decide! I always feel like a guy let out of jail sometimes. A 'free man'. Until i think about her not talking to me nowadays and talking to you all the time. You know my type. I get jealous easily. Over small things too. So im trying to cool down(which is easy) and forget about her not talking to me (which is easy if you set your mind to it cos its not forget her. its forget her NOT TALKING to me). If she talks to me, i'll still be fine. I only kills if she doesnt talk to me. I'll bet you she doesnt talk to me cos its you. I saw it coming. You have no idea how close i am to breakdown whenever i experience her not talking to me. Only the cooler in me can help. Now my hopes of her talking to me are 0%. Why? Because you told her. Shit. I've thought about leaving her alone and try again 5-10 years later. When its not so hard. I think you should know why so many years later. You know my blood pressure escalates and my heart really as in really, sinks whenever i go on msn, shes online, your online and then, hi melvin, you talking to ---? "yes". I will be like, its ok winston, cool it, nows not the time to blow. There is a limit to all these. And btw, if you're thinking im despo, im not. If i get her now, i know i wont be happy. All im asking for is for her to talk to me and be my soulmate(you better not tell her this unless you can make it sound correct and not sound WRONG). So lets peace and i'll get over it in a few minutes. Even water can cool from 100 degrees to room temp in 10 mins. I should be able to do so, looking at my body temp only having to drop from 41.2 degrees to 36.8 degrees. PEACE. I SHOULD be able to handle this.
Thank you for listening to me letting off steam =),
Winston
Labels: a good friend. Maybe a soulmate. Im trying to forget that she doesnt talk to me. im gonna treat her like a normal friend from now on., I still treat you as my friend
Posted by Winston at 7:16 AM